Monday, August 1, 2011

So apparently I am a pimp

Not really. Well actually I kind of am. Let me explain. As I have said before my best friend is a guy. Well G is known for hitting on my friends and any new girls that I might bring around. I have grown used to this, although sometimes he still manages to surprise me. Back when I started that group that goes to dinner he was all about me bringing these girls out so he could meet some of them. Once the group pared down to the small 6-7 of us that hang out on a constant basis he decided he should make nice with them.

The reason I am sharing this information is that it seems that over the years I have become like a mini pimp. I am, of course, the first to encourage any friend of mine to follow their instincts and do whatever or whoever will make them happy. This tends to lead to the inevitable friends hooking up thing. I don't mind it, it always provides me with something snicker about for at least a few weeks. The problem is that sometimes I just want to be able to bring a new girl out with my friends and not have to feel like I brought Bambi to the lion's den. I don't mind when G does it anymore, also because once most girls get to know him they see he is a bad boy and should steer clear and because if I don't say something one of the other girls is bound to. There was this one time.....

We all went out for my bday this year and there was a cock-blocking incident in which one girl may or may not have told the new girl that G has spyhilis. While this is not true it is not any less funny to me. He will never live this down, it is now a constant joke. How do you come back from that really? Poor new girl probably thought we were all nuts. We are all a little crazy, because crazy attracts more of the same.

Anyway, the point of us this was that G also brings out new boys to party and they tend to be very similar in predator status. After this weekends antics celebrating G's old man birthday I have decided I am over providing fresh new meat for the lions. I want to be able to bring a new friend out without her telling me that I have a bunch of predator guy friends. I am not sure how I will make this happen since I can't bring myself to be a cockblock and start telling people they all have syphilis. Although, that would be hilarious if I did. I've thought about it long and hard and I just can't. So for now I will probably just keep bringing the new girls out and and telling the boys to leave them alone.

I should end this by saying that there is nothing wrong with any of the boys and they don't have any kind of STD's.


Tiffani said...

Lol, it's okay to be minipimp! But at least when using syphilis as a cockblock, you're using a disease that is treatable. Or you could give new girls the disclaimer about how they should be prepared for the predatory friends. :)

Nicki said...

HAHAHHAAHA!!! I think you should totally go the syphilis route. AMAZING.

(Side note: "I think you should totally go the syphilis route" is one of those sentences you never thought you'd ever type)

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