Monday, March 19, 2012

Monday rambles

Let me tell you...I have so much on my mind right now I could very well have my head explode any minute. I tried writing in my journal yesterday thinking it would help to get it all on paper and that didn't even help. I talked it over with my mom, sister and the bestie G and still...still my brain is consumed!! 

I didn't do much this weekend as I am still recovering and am not allowed to drink just yet. Friday night I met up with G to get wings even though I know damn well I am not supposed to eat anything spicy at all. I paid for it later and there was nothing I could do but sit and moan about it. Saturday was spent enjoying the weather, spring cleaning/move cleaning and doing tons of laundry. Sunday I went to my parents and hung out.

Sooo here is what is on my mind...

-I miss The Boy. not like a I am lonely and need a boyfriend miss. BUT a I seriously miss having this guy in my life and what the F am I going to do without him? If you have been a follower since last year you may recall the post that changed it all. I went through some very seriously emotional situations all at once and to be honest I don't think I really came out of that funk until about January which is also when I decided I was moving out of Chicago and making some changes. Anyway, I stuck my ass out there and tried the dating game, I even had a mishap with a fool that caused me nothing but drama. Through all that I kept talking to him, not being able to really let him go even though everyone said I wasn't being fair to him. Now I am stuck realizing that I was so convinced the grass was greener and that he wasn't the one for me that I made a huge decision to end our relationship and I think I was wrong. I am moving out of Chicago in 2 months and 4 days. WHY did it take this long to realize all this and WTF do I do now?! 

So can see how that might make your head hurt right? 

Well....There is also the fact that I originally planned on leaving Chicago to go abroad and teach English. Last year I got certified and then I realized that my options were kind of limited because I don't have a degree yet(I'm in school still) but there are still great places I can like China. Unfortunately there are some outside factors that hold me in the US for the time being and that is what led me to choose Florida. My friend Bellydancer who also got certified with me is going to Thailand in May to teach for a year. I am so excited for her but soo sooo sooo green with envy at the same time. After talking to my mom a  bit I am really really thinking that maybe I don't have to let the circumstances keep me in the US and I should really start looking at China as a very real option. 

Some of my options are to pick up and go to Spain and try to find a job(its easier once your there), to go to Florida for the summer while I start the process of applying to go teach in China, staying in Chicago and trying to figure out what the F I want to do or just going to Orlando as planned and figuring it all out from there. 

My head are some happy pictures from my weekend to make up for this long ass post! 
The brackets I guessed at 
My arsenal...yuck! 
My brother :) 
The nephew-Look how big he is! 
making smores by the fire last night :) 

Thanks so much for reading this...I know it is a bit heavy for a Monday post but I carried that in my head all weekend and can use any advice :) 


ms.composure said...

omg my bracket is a mess right now!! LoL

P!nky said...

Awwww sweetie your time will come. Maybe right now is not the time for you to leave the country, but if that's what you want to do, you will get there. Just pray about it.

I don't really know the boy situation, but just make sure you sit back and make sure who and what you miss. Not judging or preaching, but saying you don't want to change your life for something you 'think' will be better.


Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear you were in such a funk on Monday. Hang in there! I really think your teaching plan is awesome and amazing! You will be making a difference in the world ~ keep your focus on that!

As for the guy drama...I didn't learn this until recently but when you find "the one" it just works and there's no drama. Your guy is out there...maybe you'll meet him in China or Spain =)

♥ Shia

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