Thursday, December 20, 2012

Whats on my mind....

So this song came on while I was showering last night and I remembered how much I love it.....

I've had a lot on my mind the last couple weeks. Especially things with me and The Boy. How they ended, why they ended, if it was the right decision. Being so far away and not being able to just sit down with him face to face is really hard....on top of that there is the fact that I have no clue how I would feel about things if I were at home and not on the other side of the world. A huge part of me wants to text/call him and say lets just pretend I never said any of those things and make it all better..but how unfair of me is it to ask that when I have no clue where things will be in the next 7 months? I don't know how I will feel when I get home and I can't be that cruel to him having asked him to wait some 13 months for me to get home and then drop a bomb like that. Its not right. So I don't do it. I don't run to recant everything I said. I just kind of sit and hope that he doesn't find anyone else before I get home(not so kind of me either) so that we can talk about it then and see where it leads us. Maybe in the next 7 months I will figured out my shit and i'll be able to give him the commitment he has been more than happy to give me? 

Sorry for such a deep post today but I really needed to get that all off my chest. 


P!nky said...

Life feels better when you get things out. Good for you for posting, that's what a blog is for.

Time will tell, but I'm glad you are being strong and holding to what you believe!

ENJOY your time abroad!


Samantha said...

You are putting YOU first and that's what is most important. Just stay honest and open, with you and him. If you always put out there what you are really feeling, there is no way you can be wrong.

You are such a strong person and I admire that! Hope you have a good weekend! And enjoy your holidays!

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